


LUP, CAREY, AND KILLIAN’S EPIC GAMER ADVENTURE!

by polyphobiaa



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, I’m having a good time, all silly no angst no meat just funnies and a lot of cool girls, and pirates, this shit is just LOADED with pirates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-03 03:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20258074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polyphobiaa/pseuds/polyphobiaa
Summary: The boys are captured by pirates. Lup, Carey, and Killian are sent on One Last Job.





	LUP, CAREY, AND KILLIAN’S EPIC GAMER ADVENTURE!

“Hey, I’m all for this, cause domesticity gets a little boring, but I kinda thought we were out of business?” Carey leans her chair on its back two legs. “Like, what’s the deal? I thought the Bureau was done fucking shit up.”  
“We were,” says Lucretia. “But this is… not strictly business as much as it is personal.”  
“Does not business mean we don’t get paid?” Lup asks.  
“You’ll be paid if and when you complete your job.”  
“Good enough.”  
“I’ve received a… somewhat unfortunate message that I believe you three are perhaps most qualified to handle,” Lucretia says in her business voice. “Magnus, Merle, and Taako have been captured and imprisoned by pirates.”  
Carey chokes on her water for a second, and Killian pats her on the back and turns to Lucretia. “What were they doing with pirates?”  
“God knows what those boys get up to, honestly. I have no goddamn clue. The point is, I need you all to retrieve them by any means necessary.”  
“All in,” says Killian. Carey gives a thumbs-up.  
“Yeah, sure,” says Lup. “Swashbuckling adventure. It’s an excuse to be off work for a couple days, so I’m good to go.”  
“I would think you would be a little more upset that your brother was captured by pirates.”  
“Nah, pirates won’t do shit. They’re chill.”  
Lup looks around. “So do we get gear? Cool outfits or something?”  
“I mean, if you want to dress up, that’s out of your pockets. I’m not paying for another fashion montage, nor is the Bureau.” Lucretia taps her pen impatiently. “Do you have any serious questions, because otherwise, I’m going to need you to get the fuck out of my office.”  
Lup, Carey, and Killian look around at each other, waiting for one of them to pose a serious question.  
“Clearly not,” says Lucretia. “Okay, you better head out quick, I’ve got a really important appointment with Taako in, like, twenty seconds.”  
Carey raises a claw. “Isn’t he in pirate j-“  
“Oh no I can hear him at the door now you all had better head out BYE.” Lucretia hits a button on her desk, and the chairs fall out from under the three women, dropping them into a hatch in the floor.  
They land in a three-seat vehicle, a lot like a rollercoaster car, in a clear glass tube. “Welcome to the Bureau of Benevolence fast travel railway,” says a friendly computerized voice. “Please keep on your security bars at all times, and keep all body parts you’re particularly attached to inside the car. Departure in 3… 2… 1…”  
The car shoots off at record speed, firing down the glass tunnel and showing the clear blue sky. After a while, it begins to slow.  
“Please hold on,” says the voice.  
There is a beat of stillness, and then the car drops straight down at about holy shit miles per hour. Carey puts her hands in the air, and Killian pushes them back down and into her lap.  
The tunnel plunges straight down into the ocean, and eventually bobs back up to the surface. “You have arrived,” says the cheerful voice. “Welcome to the Bureau of Benevolence’s remote water landing area. A transport will be retrieving you shortly.  
As if on cue, a ship appears over the horizon and starts just fucking gunning it to the location of the car. As it sails over to them, a gnome man with red hair and a bright red mustache looks down at them from over the deck with a smile.  
“Hey down there,” says Davenport. “You three need a ride?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i haven’t written fic in a loooong time i kind of got bored of it and fell out of loving taz! but i started a relisten and it’s on the brain again so i wrote some silly goofs. this is all fun! don’t worry about thb they are fine


End file.
